a kiss never tasted so good.

now before you get some fantasy in your head about me meeting the nicaraguan man of my dreams, hold your horses... i was referring to a hershey's kiss. yesterday, i went to this store called Price Smart and it is exactly like Costco, samples and everything. and one of them was a hershey's kiss. let me tell you, one thing they do not believe in here is dessert and you know me, that is one of my biggest vices. so, chocolate was welcomed with open arms.

one week in a new country. a lot of things have changed for me:
* my wake up time: 5AM with the bell that wakes up the girls, but then i manage to drift back to sleep until 5:45, where i lay in bed until i can drag myself out at 6AM to take a cold shower. and yet i never thought i would enjoy a cold shower. it is the ten minutes in my day that i feel clean and refreshed. the second i step out, i'm covered in a humid sweat again. and yeah, and i think i scare the girls with my singing in the shower.
* bed time: somewhere around 9PM after we have devotional and the girls all say, "buenas noches"
* my typical dinner: gallo pinto (a mixture of rice and beans cooked together) with crema y tortillas
* my eau de toilette: Off insect repellent (a lot different than the Clinique Happy i'm used to wearing). i swear, every time i look at my leg, another five bug bites have shown up no matter how many times i reapply or how well i tuck in my mosquito net during the night.
* mode of transportation: one of the numerous taxis in the city of Managua. (funny story- yesterday, we were going out and abuelita stopped a cab to ask them how much. they quoted her an extremely high price, most likely because i, the american, was standing right there. so, abuelita had me stand inside the fence where i was hidden from people on the street, hailed another taxi, and after receiving the price quote, had me hurry out to join her. so they quoted her a decent price and much to their surprise, i came along for the ride!)
* my family: 18 rowdy, crazy girls who seem bipolar to me sometimes. when i'm with them one on one, they are so kind and loving. and then later that same day, they are running around being catty and saying mean things to each other. i guess that's girls for you, no matter what country you're in. mis abuelitos- a couple named emilio and gladys who are 70 and 68 respectively. they live here in the house with the girls and are their parents now. emilio is also the national director of arms of love here in nica. there are also some women that come everyday to the house. dona myra lives here and does everything for the girls. noah is the profesora. isabel does the laundry and cleans. maria cooks and no matter how many times i offer to help, she never finds me when it's time to cook. (but yesterday, i helped wash dishes and i think that scored me some brownie points in her eyes). oh yeah, and i must not forget the little lizard gecko thing that lives on my wall and eats the mosquitos that would otherwise be eating me all night long...
* my money: they use the cordoba here and there are about 19 to $1 USD. great for me! i can get pretty much anything super cheap.
* my self esteem: it's on the rise because of all the compliments i'm getting here. everyone loves my eyes and i can't go anywhere without hearing this. (another funny story: yesterday when i was at the market with abuelita, this man said, "que bonitos son sus ojos". he was talking to gladys and obviously assumed i couldn't speak spanish. i turned to him and said, "gracias". he looked surprised and then asked gladys if i was from germany or america because he spoke a little bit of german. i turned to him once again and said, "soy americana." that quieted him quickly... so although, i may not be fluent by any means, i know enough to get by!)
* my feelings about rain: ahora, me encanta la lluvia. now, i love the rain. at home, it symbolizes the onset of a dreary, bleak winter season. but here, it is a refreshing change that calms down the heat and humidity. and seeing as i'm in the middle of the rainy season (it gets over mid- november), it seems like we'll be getting much more rain!

i've had the chance to go to two separate markets in the last few days. and what an overwhelming blow to the senses. the assorted goods strewn about in kiosks filling the streets and abandoned buildings that are now dedicated to this mercanary endeavor. fruits that i've never seen or heard of , let alone pronounce the names of. avocados the size of mangos. bad rap music blaring from some speaker- you know the type, like the "me encanta la gasolina" song. being harassed by people on all sides, "que buscas senora?". they are all vying for my attention. some of the most intricate crafts that i have ever seen. right alongside, the handiwork that all tourists to visit nicaragua will leave tucked away in their suitcase as a momento of their good time in nica. the smells, both good and bad. the various refrescos sold in plastic sandwich bags with a straw tucked in the top. underwear, bras, fabrics, wrangler jeans, adidas (who knows whether they're real or knock offs?), every type of shampoo imagineable. they have EVERYTHING! what a difference from running to the neighborhood Fred Meyer to do your grocery shopping...

up to this point, i have had a really hard time figuring out my place and where i belong here, what my role is as a volunteer here in this organization. the role is not clearly defined and for the last week, my main job has been to entertain the girls and play with them. let me tell you, i have become professional at monopolio (learning all the tricks of the game and all the key phrases that you need to play in spanish), have played countless games of guerra (war) and lost a high percentage of those, and have forced myself to play volleyball with the girls because that seems to be one of the only ways i can win affection (despite my extreme dislike for volleyball and the bruises covering my forearms...). i called my parents in tears, demanding to come home, but have since then, spent a lot of time reading the Bible and in prayer. as uncomfortable as this is for me to be here and as useless as i feel, i cannot justify leaving. God definitely called me here, as seen in the whole process from this past abril to now, beginning with me deciding to take some time off to finding out my email wasn't working and then finally getting ahold of Arms of Love two weeks before i came. he has orchestrated his plan perfectly and i am beginning to realize that right now, He does have something for me to do here. Even if it's rest and spend time with Him. I might cut my time short and come home beginning of January, instead of March, but i'm not making any rash decisions. please continue to pray for me, that i might find a purpose in being here and get some sort of affirmation that i am supposed to be here now in this very time of my life.

right now, we have a short term team here- a group of 13 mennonites and what a blessing they are, just in being here. last night, they sang worship songs (in english!) and one of them handed me a snickers bar. gracias a Dios! instead of falling asleep by myself, i fell asleep surrounded by 7 beautiful young women who came down here to serve these girls and Jesus. such an encouragement to me. i think i'll get to work alongside them when they are doing their work projects!

i leave you with this... habakkuk 1:5 says,

"Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told."

now, if you're like me, you had to look up habakkuk in your table of contents to remember where that was in the bible, but after stumbling on these words recorded by the prophet Habakkuk, i am encouraged that God is going to do something in my days here, that i could never believe. that is my reason for staying and persevering, despite my flesh calling me back to the states...