life update

the lord said to Moses "come up to me on the mountain and stay here." exodus 24:12

why do i have such a hard time with the staying part? i can get up the mountain just fine, but it's the staying put that i find to be difficult. watching rob bells' everything is spiritual this week made me think and one of the points he made was how the whole time we are climbing any mountain in our lives and even once we reach the summit, our thoughts are consumed with scheming of how we will get down the mountain. because of this, we rarely just sit and enjoy where we are. living in the present is something that is rarely practiced, but something that i so desperately desire. i want to cherish every moment of life, especially how it's going right now.

words cannot express how full life is right now. and that's not a bad thing. i feel like i am beginning to see what jesus meant in john 10:10 when he said that he came so that we might have life and have it to the fullest. sure, life is busy, but when is it not? will there ever be a time when it isn't? i think i'd be fooling myself to say it's going to slow down any time soon.

classes- cannot believe i only have two quarters left. winter quarter's going to be tough, but i'll get through it and then hopefully can actually enjoy spring quarter when the desire to do homework has disappeared completely. still have no idea where i'll end up after that graduation day sometime in june. probably won't even go to the ceremony. who wants to dress up in that silly gown anyway and stand awkwardly with hundreds of other people i don't know? not i. applied to be a tutor at the tutoring center on campus. have my interview on the 5th, so hopefully i can charm my way into that position and use my spanish skills...

work- cannot believe it's been more than three months at the hotel. although my tasks in my job don't seem like anything important, and actually are quite mundane, i can find reason to be joyful nearly every day there. the relationships that are developing have been such a blessing, especially with my hispanic coworkers. i am one of the few that actually speaks spanish. i have loved getting to know the mexicans that are there working so incredibly hard every day as housekeepers, engineers, in the laundry room... but at the same time, it breaks my heart to see how hard they work and how unappreciated they are. they are living hard lives. most have the majority of their family still in mexico and they are sending money to them so that they might live. i really wish i could do something to have an impact on the whole immigration thing here in the states. but where would i even begin? volunteering at immigration counseling service this past quarter really opened up my eyes to the whole realm of immigration that had previously been hidden to me. seeing the years it takes to become a citizen and the frustrations and roadblocks one faces frustrate me. but what a unique opportunity to help out there, translating documents, making calls, and talking to clients. it gave me a little taste of the jobs that are out there that might make use of my spanish...

house- as of the coming sunday, there will be 6 of us girls living here. it is crazy how God brought each one of the girls in completely different circumstances. i am learning so much about what it's like to live with other people and how much messiness drives me bonkers. it's hard with each of us doing our own thing. i don't feel like i'm around very much (which is my own choice) and as a result, we are missing out on the opportunity to build strong friendships and truly challenge/disciple each other as had originally been the intent. i think that there is a lot to be learned from simply living life together and seeing each other in every moment, whether you just woke up, had to take a hard phone call or are joyfully dancing around in the living room. life is meant to be shared! i still cannot believe how blessed we are with the house. i do not want to leave.

church/college group- such an answered prayer. i finally have found that community here in portland that i was so desperately searching for. i haven't had this since life in bellingham. all those lonely moments in vancouver with my family have been replaced by new friends and adventures. i am so blessed by being in relationship with other believers who encourage and challenge me and also allow me the chance to encourage them. God is giving me so many friendships with girls and guys that He obviously initiated and wants to sustain. i do feel it on my heart the desire for deeper fellowship with the girls of the group and don't know how that will look. i would like to even get some sort of small group going, but i feel my own insecurities holding me back. then i am reminded that it is not of anything that i will do, but solely allowing God to work through me. how many times did i experience that in my two summers at camp? countless...

novio- after me being so impatient, it finally happened. a boyfriend for kat. his name's luke and what a blessing. every moment i spend with him and the more unreal he seems. i didn't know that guys like this actually existed. and it's funny because everyone always says that as soon as you stop looking, love will find you. i never believed that and thought it was a bunch of pish posh... and lo and behold. summer's over, i'm still caught up with a guy from camp that is realistically going nowhwere. i decide that i'll just be single and enjoy senior year, focusing on school and everything else. then, out of nowhere, luke shows up. and my plans change... drastically. i'm in love with his family and am going to montana next week to hang with the abuelitos. should be a relaxing trip. i think for the first time EVER, i just might be falling in love. and how wonderful it is...

family- erin's coming in a week with the kids and husband. she'll be here for a few months apparently. i cannot wait. i just hope i can get over there to see them and spend time with them. the house in vancouver should be even more chaotic than it already is.

summer? i'm thinking camp for the last time and if i do go back, it will definitely be senior SWAT. i can feel God preparing me for it now with my job and the humbling work i have to do there, like taking out trash and cleaning bathrooms (sound familiar? that sounds like typical SWAT work if i've ever heard any...). but more importantly, the relationships with girls that God is developing and the opportunities to invest in their lives. this mirrors the discipleship that would happen with SWAT girls over the summer. who knows? this plan could completely change, but as of now, that's kind of what i'm thinking.

and then comes september and freedom... as much as i've got the urge for going and would love to ditch town with my backpack and boy by my side to south america for a few months, i cannot justify being that selfish and abandoning all that is here for me. the friends, community, church, luke, family, house, job... there is so much happening here and i think God's just getting started. i'm not ready to leave that just yet. portland is wonderful and i wouldn't mind being around for a while. maybe we can keep the lease going and i can just stay w/ new roommies? solo Dios sabe...

here's to 2009. it's going to be a good one, i can just feel it.

christmas with luke and his parents. don't mind matt...